Ricky Martin, the flamboyant 38 year old homosexual Latino singer, has finally admitted he was the artist behind the 2000 hit single “She Bangs”.
For years Martin has refused to confirm rumours that he was the singer, even though it was a worldwide number one hit in 412 countries and reaped 34 billion dollars in record sales.
“For many years I didn’t want to be associated with such a stupid song. It is puerile, about a man who pretends he wants to bang a hot Latino girl who bangs everyone she sees, when secretly he is gay and really wants to bang the girl’s hot boyfriend instead” said Martin.
“For the last decade I have lived with the dirty secret that I sang that idiotic song. It has been a very hard, very long time. I keep the master recording of that single hidden in my bedroom closet, and the hundreds of homosexual lovers I’ve had over the years have had no idea that it was me in the closet while we made sweet sweet bareback love just feet away. The shame was just too much to bear, so the recording had to come out of the closet finally.”
The song features the lyrics:
“And she bangs, she bangs
Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
‘Cause she looks like a flower but she stings
like a bee
Like every girl in history
She bangs, she bangs”
and
“I’ll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out
She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks”
In 2004, Blender magazine named “She Bangs” one of the “50 Worst Songs Ever” and VH1 listed it the 8th Most Awesomely Bad Song of all-time.
Martin has two children by a surrogate mother, played in the 1998 Soccer World Cup and currently writes a blog about raising pet bonobo chimpanzees at home.
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