Nicole Kidman, the 42 year old ex-actress, today slammed Australia during a press conference and vowed never to return.
She claimed that “Only Americans really know how to properly suck up to useless celebrities like me. Australia is still 10 years behind sycophant-wise, and probably always will be.”
“The Australian media still likes to remind famous people such as myself and that guy I married that we’re not really very important, and in my case, not even very good at what I do” Nicole said during the conference.
“Frankly, they’re horrible to me. If it wasn’t for the way they treat me, and the fact I have very complex tax avoidance schemes running in the Bahamas to maximise the money I make from my awful awful film, I’d love to return to Sydney and have a whinge closer to home. But let’s face it, in Australia I’d be lucky to be working at Wendy’s while doing bit parts on Neighbours. They see right through frauds like me at home. Thank God for America where anyone can be famous for sleeping with Tom Cruise.”
Nicole Kidman can currently be seen using her forehead as a Drive-In movie screen in Beverley Hills.
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