In a dramatic bid to quickly shed her extra unwanted body fat, Victoria Beckham has undergone the latest fad to sweep Hollywood – Head Reduction Surgery.
The procedure is little known outside of A-Lister circles, with only the most cashed-up stars of stage, screen and music able to afford Dr. Heimlich M. Anuver’s revolutionary weight reduction process.
Victoria, wife of celebrated underwear collector, David Beckham, was reportedly told by fashion freakonaught Karl Lagerfeld to lose another 63 kilos from her already emaciated 59 kilos, and lose 25 inches from her 23 inch waist, if she wanted to wear his latest creation to the 2010 Oscars.
Victoria admitted to her closest friends that she underwent the surgery because the paparazzi were starting to look at younger, thinner and actually attractive women, instead of her.
Dr. Heimlich M. Anuver, when questioned about the drastic process, claimed “It is not a big deal, really! I merely chop off the head, then push all the important bits like eyes and lips inside the chest cavity, then seal the wound and throw away the rubbish bits like the brain, mouth, tongue, skull, etc etc . The patient is usually back to walking down the red carpet or shopping for shoes within days. Most people can hardly tell that their favourite celebrity has had Head Reduction surgery done at all. ”
When asked about is his wifes latest grab for headlines, husband David Beckham said “Huh? Today I’m wearing a pair of Calvin Klein Y-Fronts that were designed for me personally.”
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