The Australian sharemarket is walking carefully and sitting on a hemorrhoid cushion tonight after closing lower amid new fears that Greece’s debt concerns were worse than reported.
The S&P/ASX200 index fell 1.2 per cent and the All Ords fell 1.1 per cent to 4614.9, with many funds forced to dump stock via backdoor listings as investors forced their fund managers face-first up against the wall on losses.
The markets were initially stiff in early trading with numbers penetrating roughly upwards. However, when the monthly Global Souvlaki Ratings figures were released at www.showusyoursouvlaki.com, they revealed that Greece’s Souvlaki Satisfaction Index was likely to drop from 4 Thumbs Up to 2 Thumbs Up next month due to its admission it no longer had the financial resources to manufacture its sole export product, Tzatziki Sauce.
Greece produces 100% of the estimated 800 billion tonnes of Tzatziki sauce used worldwide.
Almost 750 billion tonnes of that total is used within Greece’s own cafes, restaurants and service stations as car lubricant.
The remaining 50 billion tonnes is split between Sydney, Melbourne and Richmond.
Greek Government officials are desperately trying to negotiate new financing with “some guy they know who knows a guy”, but admit that if they are unable to secure the finance necessary to continue production they will accept Donald Trump’s offer to purchase the entire country and use its ruins to decorate his Manhattan penthouse.
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