The Nine Network has axed the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics coverage for being “..too gay for our audience demographic” said Nine CEO David Gyngell.
“Our viewers want to watch real men playing real sports, with lots of violence, action and a constant stream of mind numbing statistics spewed forth from excitable and incomprehensible commentators” said Gyngell this morning.
Eddie McGuire came under fire last week during the Men’s Ice Skating, when he alluded to 24-year-old American skater Johnny Weir’s sexuality.
Co-host Mick Molloy joked that Weir was a builder by day.
”They don’t leave anything in the locker room, those blokes,” said Mick Molloy.
‘They don’t leave anything in the closet either, do they?’ replied McGuire.
After numerous viewer complaints and angry letters to newspapers, McGuire claimed his comments had been taken “..out of context” and that his remark was referring to “homosexual cabinetmakers who are thieves” not skiers.
Commentator James Brayshaw has also been criticised for the limited range of his comments, usually restricted to “WHOAH!”, “WHOA-HOOOO!” and “WHOAH HO HO HOOOOOOOOOO!”
David Gyngell claimed axing the Olympics was “inevitable, when you consider the poor quality, bogan-ised, misogynistic and homophobic commentary. Who the hell wants to listen to a bunch of football-tragic boofheads read boring facts stolen from Wikipedia for 8 hours a day and the occasional excited scream when someone falls over? I think Nine did two things wrong with the Winter Olympics – first, we we hired the wrong commentators, and second, we bought the rights to telecast the Winter Olympics.”
Gyngell indicated that effective immediately all coverage of the Games would be replaced with a daily 4 hour highlights package from both the AFL and NRL Footy Show Grand Final episodes featuring famous players wearing dresses and fishnet stockings, and an additional 4 hours a day of Two and a Half Men repeats.
“Our audience has spoken. They don’t want to watch homosexuals on ice. They want to see straight, steroid abusing footballers dancing in womens clothing with choreography set to the music of Ricky Martin. And Charlie Sheen being smug. Now that shit is awesome and blokey.”
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