God was last night taken into police custody after a failed attempt to sabotage AC/DC’s first Melbourne concert in 9 years.
The 13.7 billion old Diety was charged with causing a disturbance, being a public nuisance, water damage to private and public property, interruption of the State’s electrical system and resisting arrest.
He is claiming that the first Melbourne show of AC/DC’s Black Ice Tour interrupted his sleep after Etihad Stadium refused his requests to “turn it the fuck down, for the love of Me!”
I’ve been doing 18 hour shifts for the last 2 billion years, and I just wanted a little Me-damned sleep.” said God
“Last night was the last straw. I mean, Jesus H. Christ in a handbasket, is it too much to ask that AC/DC turn it down a bit so I can get a bit of shuteye? Seriously, I could hear it up here, it was that bloody loud. The walls were rattling and I’ve got great big bloody cracks in the plaster!”
God claims he approached Ian Collins, Chief Executive of Etihad Stadium, several times during the concert and asked him to keep the noise at a “reasonable level” for the neighbours sake.
“Ian just looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head or something, and then laughed at me! The last time I asked him, he told me to “piss off”, the cheeky bastard!” said God in his statement to police.
Victoria Police said they received several reports that God then took matters into his own hands.
“We had calls from all over Melbourne that God was flooding the city and various suburbs, attempting to put a stop to the concert” alleges Simon Overland, Police Chief Commissioner.
“We sent a car round to his house to verify the story, and the officers on the scene claim God became agitated and defensive, screaming obscenities and making threatening gestures to the officers, so they sprayed him with capsicum spray. That appears to have inflamed the situation. God then flew off and began hurling lightning bolts all over Melbourne, blacking out electricity to thousands of homes, and burning down a house.”
The Police Air Wing was then called in, intercepting God above Etihad Stadium. They arrested him and took him in to be charged.
God’s lawyer said He intends to fight the charges.
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