Hollywood is still in shock today at the sudden and unexpected news that 150,000 people died on Sunday from natural causes, unnatural causes, various diseases, heart failure, cancer, old age, plague, car accidents, slipping in the shower, accidental stabbing by a small baby playing with a kitchen knife, rabid dogs, feral deer rampage, disputes over spoilt milk, conflict, war, famine, foreign occupation, suicide bomber, choking on a peanut, inhaling stale donuts, falling out of a moving car while singing Christmas Carols, being shot to death for singing Christmas Carols while people are trying to watch television in peace and goddamned quiet after a long day at work, and many other causes too numerous to mention.
United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said in an official statement released this afternoon “We are deeply sorry for the loss of so many lives and our hearts and thoughts are with the many many many many many families and loved ones of the many many many many many people who died both so unexpectedly and in some case expectedly. This is a tragic occurence, just like the 150,000 people who died yesterday, and the 150,000 people who will die every day this year. It’s very sad. ”
Ashton Kutcher, who at some point has been married to several hundred of the dead, posted his feelings on social networking site Twitter.
“Wow. Oh wow. Bummer. World lost another 150,000 angel’s. me sad. wow. 🙁 ”
He followed that heartfelt tweet 3 minutes later with “I’m in Chicago tomorrow pm to party. Join me for beerpalooza if you’re free. Demi just showed me boobs. Whoah. Going the rodfest now :)”
Actor George Clooney spoke of the potential shown by the 150,000 dead.
“You know, some died way too soon. Granted, many died after really long lives where they lived out their dreams and explored their potentials, yet others died miserable has-beens, some were never really good enough to make that big break through, and some were happy to just get by without starving, but still everyone in Hollywood will speak fondly of their achievements and style and charitable qualities, even though we never really knew any of them. They will all be missed greatly by everyone in Hollywood and by every person who blogs about Hollywood.”
In related news, actress Brittany Murphy also died on the same day that the 150,000 people died. She suffered a heart attack and was pronounced dead on arrival at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre. She was 32 and leaves behind a devoted husband.
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