Dubai, who yesterday announced they were broke and close to defaulting on 1 trillion dollars worth of international loans, have released a detailed plan to kickstart their economy and repay their debts.
Markets worlwide beathed a sigh of relief at the news, claiming that a default by Dubai could have led the world right back into the jaws of a global depression just as signs were beginning to point to a recovery.
Japan’s Finance Minister Hirohisa Fujii said “We are watching this situation very closely. Their Sausage Sale must be of of extraordinary magnitude. You have our gratitude.”
U.S. President Barak Obama appeared shocked with Dubai’s plans. “A Sausage Sale? Really? That’s their solution to repaying a trillion dollar debt? Can someone please explain to me why no-one in my government thought of that? Jesus fucking Christ! I just spent a trillion dollars and all I got was a shit sandwhich!”
Dubai met with World Banks this morning to outline their plans.
“We are very excited about this. I have just sent my Junior Minister to the supermarket to purchase 1,000,000 sausages and rolls, 60,000 litres of tomato sauce and 80 tonnes of cheese” said Mr. Mohmed Hamad Al Shehi, the Deputy Director General. “We plan to sell each sausage for $80,000, or 2 for $150,000, which we believe is fantastic value even in this depressed economy. If we can sell all one million sausages on Saturday we should be able to pay our debts and have enough left over to buy every resident of Dubai a second helicopter. We have been putting up flyers around town all morning. We expect a big turnout.”
World stockmarkets rose by 4% on the news, indicating strong support for the plan.
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