BREAKING NEWS: Katie Holmes’s Far Death Experience!

Movie star and midget afficianado, Katie Holmes, is recovering after a near death experience while shooting her latest film, the remake of  Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Holmes, currently in Melbourne, Australia, shooting scenes for the film, was startled when a car in Hollywood, California, 12,500km away, suddenly caught fire and had to be extinguished by the Los Angeles Fire Brigade. The call was placed to 911 by concerned crew in Melbourne when they realised how close the fire was to 30 year old Katie and her child Suri. Tom Cruise is expected to fly out to Melbourne on his private jet to comfort Katie in her time of need. Katie is reported to be resting, but still suffering nightmares over the incident, saying “Just a few more thousand kilometers closer and who knows what could have happened!”