Delta Goodrem, currently seen spruiking the Wii games console, SoGood Soy milk, Sunsilk shampoo, ProActiv Skin Care and Crazy Larry’s Rug Emporium, has been announced as the winner of MasterChef, Channel Ten’s surprise ratings reality hit.
In a shock for final two contestants Poh Ling Yeow and Julie Goodwin, judges Matt Preston and Gary Mehigan announced that Goodrem would be a “Surprise Super Secret Celebrity Double Twist Immunity Insta-Win” Wildcard entry into the finale of the competition.
Local cook and ‘Special Friend’ of the show George Calombaris, when told of the decision to invite Goodrem to compete and win without ever having been a part of the competition, said “Sugar makes things sweeter, you know? Make me proud. If it’s burnt, you probably over cooked it.”
Goodrem was “..excited, really excited, yeah, very very excited to be doing this thing, whatever it is that I have been contractually obligated to do by my agent.” She said she had no idea what a MasterChef was, whether it was rubbed into your hair or face, or whether it was some kind of game you play with your boyfriend.
Poh Ling Yeow, considered the favourite after beer seller Chris Badenoch was eliminated for serving a Four ‘n’ Twenty chunky steak pie garnished with sheeps blood, was disappointed with Goodrem’s wildcard entry into the show. “I can understand that they want to shake things up, but to announce her the winner, without having to cook a single dish? I don’t get it. She just sat in the corner playing her little Nintendo DS. Her agent asked to talk to the judges Matt and Gary, and I could overhear words like ‘synergy’, ‘cross-media cut-through’ and ‘holdover audience penetration’. Next thing I know, Matt announces that Delta was the winner and we were no longer needed for filming. George just sat there, oblivious to it all, mumbling Delta ‘should do her best.. sweeten it with sugar, don’t burn things.’
Channel Ten indicated that the final 2 hour episode would no longer be an elimination show now that Goodrem was declared Australia’s First MasterChef. “We’re going to end the series with a special 2 hour infommercial instead, presented by Delta, who will be spruiking our new MasterChef range of kitchen and bedroom accessories for the larger sized women” said Ten’s Head of Late Night Advertising, Merkan B. Shoosher. “She’s a natural fit, have you seen her skin? And her agent offered to throw in Brian McFadden to sweeten the deal. It’s called the Brelta Package, we’re very excited!”
The MasterChef finale will air on Sunday, and will be repeated every night at midnight for the next 9 months.
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