Family First senator Steve Fielding has outraged nearly every community in existence by claiming this week the paid parental leave system is ripe for rorting by drug addicts, prostitutes, aliens, politicians, oompahloompahs, flying monkeys and chupacabra’s.
“It will be too tempting to get pregnant, then after 20 weeks have an abortion and still pocket the government’s cash so you could buy a lovely set of candelabras and a fur coat made of albino rat fur,” Fielding said.
“I’m also a completely batshit loon, dangerously uneducated and possibly mentally unstable. Will the Government give me paid leave when I claim to have been impregnated by a fairy dressed as the Virgin Mary? These are serious questions, and I demand peanut butter!” exclaimed Senator Fielding while pretending to be Charles Darwin and carrying an imaginary cross.
Senator Fielding is expected to recover soon.
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