Former Australian Prime Minister John W. Howard has been formally nominated for the Presidency of the International Cricket Committee for the 2012 season.
Mr Howard, who is still reeling from his shock loss to Kevin Rudd in the closely run 2007 election, vowed to bring cricket back to its heyday of 1956, when values were simpler and there were less foreigners ruining the game.
“I see this nomination as a vindication of my opinion that cricket has lost its way in the modern world. There are too many countries of strange and unusual colours and cultures playing the game today, and far too many variations what with Twenty20, Five15, One Day, 8 Day, 43 Day, International Cup, 5-a-side Test and Tippitty Runs all competing against each other” said Mr Howard while sipping camomile tea during this afternoons announcement.
“I intend to return the game to its former glory, when we only played against England in battles of nerve and courage and it could only be heard over a crystal wireless set you had to build yourself from spare parts.”
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said he would seek his own nomination to contest the Presidency of the ICC in 2012.
“I believe Mr Howard is a relic of a time best forgotten by all Australians under the age of 40. Cricket today needs to be progressive and truly international in scope. I’m putting together a plan that would see 43 news teams from Asia; all teams forced to include a new Halal friendly fielding position behind silly mid on and a special cricket bat rebate program to allow teams to upgrade their forest destroying wooden bats with newer eco-friendly aluminium models,” said Mr Rudd.
Current ICC President Frederick David Morgan refused to comment on todays events, but several people on is staff have reported gun shots being fired in his office shortly after both announcements were made.
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