Apple, in a move to shake off bad publicity, has decided to officially release a new update to their iPhone lineup, called the iPhone 3GS BAM!
Steve Jobs, in a keynote address to his dentist, today unveiled the new iPhone, explaining that recent reports of exploding iPhones in Europe were actually unofficial pre-release models of the new phone designed to build anticipation and hype.
“For years, Apple have been at the forefront of consumer marketing. We believe the best advertising for our products is done ‘by the consumer, to the consumer, for the consumer’. We have harnessed this method to its logical conclusion for this exciting release, by taking consumer reports of exploding faulty iPhones, and determining that it was exactly what the consumer really desired. We have put the power in the hands of our userbase, and they have determined our next product. Welcome to the future. It is bright, shiny and explodey!”
Jobs dentist gave him a standing ovation and cheered him wildly before proceeding to extract his wisdom teeth.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates has suggested to industry insiders that Jobs was desperately trying to coverup the faulty phone situation.
“What Steve’s saying is that the phone exploding and showering the users face with razor sharp shards of glass is actually a feature. Big deal! We’ve been claiming bugs are features for years! We just don’t wear a black skivvy when we say it.” said Gates. “Boy, am I gonna give him hell at our next D&D night!”
Apple stores have reported a record 6 million pre-orders for the iPhone 3GS BAM! with many fans already lining-up outside Apple stores around the world in anticipation of the official December release.
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