The United Nations, acting on the demands of rioting parents around the world, yesterday executed the jingle writer of the current Kinder Surprise commercial, finding him “..guilty of crimes against humanity” said Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon.
Freelance jingle writer, Hans E. Gruber, penned the notorious tune in 2006, but it wasn’t until 2008 that Kinder Surprise manufacturer Ferrero, concerned that the footage for their latest ad campaign “..wasn’t ‘catchy enough to bring in the ‘annoying little shit’ demographic’ decided to push it ‘..way over the top’ with Gruber’s lyrics and music. The rest is history.”
The lyrics:
“To make a lovely surprise,
You take a day without a surprise.
You become the surprise,
(Sing this bit through a traffic cone) “And here it is, the surprise of the day!”
Then there’s the milky chocolate taste,
Nothing tastes better than a great surprise.”
The annoyingly repetitive sing-song lyrics accompanied footage of a young European looking father surprising a young boy after school with the promise of a flimsy plasticky ‘surprise’ in chocolate packaging. The father then briefly imitates a 1916 Sopwith Camel Bi-wing fighter plane, the model popularised by Snoopy in the syndicated comic strip ‘Peanuts’, whilst chasing the young boy who presumably was pretending to be The Red Baron.
Ferrero CEO, Pietro Ferrero said in a brief statement from their head office “Si, it is unfortunato, but, eh.. how do you say?.. it is for the better that he is dead, no?”
Ferrero also produce Ferrero Rocher, Nutella and the new Tic-Tac King Size.
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