The Opposition is upping the pressure on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd today, calling for the immediate resignation of Environment Minister Peter Garrett after the unexplained death of several guinea pigs around the country.
“This just goes to show how inept Mr Garrett has been in his handling of the Home Guinea Pig Rebate Scheme.” said Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.
“I call on the Prime Minister to put an end to his mishandling of his portfolio and sack Mr Garrett. How many more guinea pigs need to die before Mr Rudd will act?”
This new pressure caps a bad run for Mr Garrett, who is currently under fire for his handling of the Government Home Insulation Rebate Scheme, the Home Solar Panel Rebate Scheme, poor sales of the Midnight Oils back catalogue and an argument he had with his wife over a bland meatloaf just last night.
Mr Garrett has gone into hiding as the damage toll mounts.
To date, 400 unskilled installers have been electrocuted using aluminum foil insulation, 30,000 houses have caught fire due to incorrectly installed pink batts, the sun has exploded because of faulty solar panels and now 11 pet guinea pigs have died in mysteriously circumstances.
Mr Abbott spoke to the media during a vigorous sparing session with ex-world heavyweight champion Mike Tyson this morning. “It’s clear that Mr Garrett has ignored the recommendations of the National Pets and Livestock Advisory Board, who told him in no uncertain terms more than 2 years ago, that guinea pigs require a very specific routine of food, water and exercise in order to survive as a household pet. Mr Garret has chosen to ignore that advice, and we are now faced with a plague of guinea pigs deaths of biblical proportions because of the Governments ill-advised Home Guinea Pig Rebate Scheme. He must step down, and I urge the Prime Minister to insist on Mr Garrett personally visiting each and every upset child affected by his bungling.”
Mr Garrett refused to comment on this latest scandal, but his staff have revealed that his wife no longer speaks to him after their children’s pet guinea pig died suddenly this morning.
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