WORLD champion 800 metre runner Caster Semenya has revealed she is really the hermaphrodite Lady Gaga.
Semenya, who has been under scrutiny since her medal wins in Berlin last month finally came clean this week and admitted her true identity in an effort to stop the latest circulating internet speculation that she was really a part gazelle/part human hybrid mutation.
The world international athletics body, the IAAF, announced that Semenya would be allowed to keep her medals and records for the time being, as they absolutely no idea how to deal with the revelations that Semenya was actually someone else who was part man, part woman, part self-promoting freakazoid.
Athletics South Africa president Leonard Chuene said “What the f#ck? Seriously man, what the f#cking f#ck? She’s a what? A hermaphradoor? A hermampoline? A trampampoline? What the f#ck is going on?”
“This is some serious crazy shit.” he continued, before locking himself in his office and refusing to take any further questions.
Semenya/Lady Gaga announced in an official press release that after the media frenzy died down, she would resume her running career, but would do it dressed as Lady Gaga.
Officials are already protesting that her 6 inch hooker heels will damage the running surface and her outlandish outfits would be a distraction to other athletes.
Lady Gaga denied the claims, indicating that she would run naked and wear platform runners filled with goldfish.
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