Carlton captain Chris Judd is looking down the barrel of a minimum two week ban with a potential lifetime expulsion from the game for allegedly attempting a Vulcan Mind-Meld with Brisbane’s Michael Rischitelli.
Judd, until now thought to be a Christian, has revealed himself to be a Vulcan by birth.
The AFL has determined that his attempted Mind-Meld contravened the leagues inter-species mental manipulation rules, a little known ruling that has until this weekend only been enforced just twice, in 1945 and 1922.
The weekend telecast of the game between Carlton and the Brisbane Lions picked up the incident, and showed multi-angle replays in which Judd can be clearly seen attempting to position his fingers in the optimum spot to trigger the fabled Vulcan Mind-Meld.
The match review committee watched tapes of the game, and asked Judd for an official explanation, expecting him to deny charges of eye-gouging.
However, they were surprised when Judd revealed he was really a 150 year old Vulcan stuck on Earth after an accident involving Chronospheres and the Borg, and was attempting the Meld in order to help Rischitelli deal with ‘personal issues’.
Rischitelli has denied asking for Judd to perform the move, and claims he’s just “going through the motions at the moment, you know, I’m a bit down, it’s no biggie. I certainly don’t need no Vulcan freak browsing through my mind like it’s freaking google or something. ”
Footy Living Legend Ron Barassi has been outspoken in his condemnation of Judd’s actions, and said “That the second weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in all my years involved with the game.”
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