The Abominable Snowman has announced his engagement to Tim Holding.
Yesterday the Snowman and Holding were dramatically lifted to safety aboard a hovering rescue helicopter after spending 3 days lost at Mount Feathertop.
After the rescue, Holding revealed his secret relationship with the Abominable Snowman, and that they had an Abominable Snowbaby which he had been keeping secret.
The Abominable Snowman, proudly sporting a glittering 3 carat diamond cluster engagement ring, told reporters that he was “..Grrrggggrgwwwggagh! Aargerrgggg wrrggdgrr frgggowgg!”
Snowman wouldn’t reveal whether he and Holding would move in together closer to the city yet, but added “Hrrggghhrrgh..urggh..GGHRHRHHHH!”
The snowbaby wasn’t present during the announcement today, and Snowman quickly changed topics when asked about the baby’s name and sex.
The event turned ugly however when a reporter for A Current Affair tried to press him for more baby information. Snowman leaped into the crowd and ripped the reporters head off, throwing the body in a nearby tree before officials from Melbourne Zoo sedated him with a volley of fire from tranquiliser guns.
Tim Holding has claimed this violent turn of events “..to be rather unfortunate, but not totally unexpected. Snowy will have to quickly learn that political life can be difficult for everyone, but killing reporters is rarely the answer. Hopefully the preparations for the wedding will help him settle in.”
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said he is “obliquely concerned, yet systematically optimistic that the Abominable Snowman can fully integrate with modern society, as he and Tim make a uniquely Australian couple.”
A wedding date has been set for late November.
Comments are closed.