US News Anchor Erin Burnett Calls Rudd a Serial Killer, Shouts “U.S.A! U.S.A!”, Shows Breasts on T.V

U.S news anchor and part time mens magazine model Erin Burnett has called Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd “a kangaroo humping serial killer who should be charged with war crimes”.

Burnett made the allegations after what she claims was “really extensive research and some very serious journalisming” involving switching on her microwave and realising it wasn’t a computer when she couldn’t find Microsoft Outlook. Eventually she managed to find her laptop and after trying to read spam for viagra she finally relented and demanded someone in the studio teach her how to read.

Burnett, 41, has in teh past supported using taxpayer money to pay for investment bankers to get penis extensions during the global financial crisis; enjoys posing topless for Maxim magazine because she believes “..it makes me look more brainlier! Wooo!“;Â thinks her viewers are cheesecake eating morons who are too stupid to watch Oprah and likes to shoot homeless people for fun in her spare time.

She also claimed in her her allegations against Prime Minister RuddÂ that he was launching strategic aerial missile strikes against the innocent camels.

Mr Rudd, when questioned about the allegations made by Burnett responded “Who said fucking what now?”

“Do we really have camel farms?” continued Mr. Rudd. “Well, if so, let me just say that I’m very happy to see someone of Ms. Burnett’s calibre reporting on such serious international issues. Clearly the U.S economy and health system is running smoothly, and they are steadily clawing their way out of being a third world nation. Bravo Ms. Burnett, I applaud you and the bankrupt education system that primed you so well for your role as a television news blackhole, I mean anchor.”

In the past, Burnett has been forced to apologise for calling ex-President George W. Bush a “monkey in the White House”, French President Nicolas Sarkozy “a womanising croissant buggerer” and President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad “one of my biggest inspirations in life.”

She rejects claims that her on air tirade against Rudd was unfounded, ignorant, over exaggerated, ill-researched and the completely insane ramblings of a person with little grip on reality.

“I don’t repeat everything I read in an email. Anymore. I verified the content by checking my Twitter account, my Myspace space and my Facebook thing. I didn’t have a single comment from Mr. Rudd denying the claims. As far as CNBC are concerned that is all the verification we need to ignorantly shoot my mouth off” said Burnett, shortly before exposing her breasts, chugging a beer, snorting a line of coke and declaring war on Pluto.

CNBC refused to comment on the controversy, but off the record did admit that “..many anchors have problems with knowing when to shut the fuck up”.