BREAKING NEWS: Eddie McGuire today spontaneously combusted in front of a packed media gathering while officially announcing the appointment of club legend Nathan Buckley to the position of Assistant Coach of Collingwood.
McGuire, who several years ago professed his undying love to Buckley in the nationally televised 2 hour Channel Nine Special “Buck ‘n’ Me: A Black and White Love Story” was reportedly “bursting at the seams with joy” this morning at the prospect of announcing Nathan Buckley’s signing to the position, said sources close to the smouldering corpse of McGuire.
Newly reappointed Head Coach Mick Malthouse said he “..wasn’t surprised” by McGuire bursting into flames, as “..he’d porked up a bit lately. The coroner reckons he was walking a little too closely behind Buck’s and his extra bodyfat was ignited by a spark of static electricity. The fire was intense, you could have roasted a marshmellow over him.”
Andrew Demetriou announced a tribute match to McGuire would be played at Etihad Stadium as soon as they could find a suitable date. “We’re looking at some dates in 2010, but nothing concrete as next years fixture is pretty tight already, so worst case scenario we could schedule a special VFL match at Coburg City Oval between Mordialloc Football Club and Collingwood.”
Nathan Buckley has indicated that he wouldn’t be available “..whichever weekend they choose, because I’ll probably be busy doing other stuff.”
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