Failed politician, Al Gore, in an attempt to once-and-for-all erase from public memory his unsuccessful 2000 Presidential campaign against a lump of fossilized wood, has declared the he, Al Gore, is in fact the cause of Global Warming, and announced plans to immediately begin shooting a documentary about the dangers of himself to the world.
After the success of his 2006 documentary ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, which warned millions of internet users who downloaded his film illegally about the dangers of using oversized piecharts and stock footage of penguins, Gore has decided to follow it up with the sequel ‘An Even More Inconvenient Al Gore’. His press release, printed on 180gsm laser bond paper stock made from virgin Amazon rainforest wood pulp, claims he intends to use at least “..35% more of the editing features of iMovie on his Macbook..” and “..feature at least 60% more footage of himself driving around in his 6.6 liter V8 limousine while talking longingly of his childhood and his fond memories of shooting An Inconvenient Truth.”
Gore, currently in Melbourne, Australia, to speak to a breakfast gathering for Safe Climate Australia, told a mesmerised audience “..we must do more to stop the threat of me. We have the will, we have the power, but we know that political will is a renewable resource, unlike the fuel used in the airplane I flew here in, with shopping stopovers in Macau, Honolulu, London and 8 other places I can’t recall because I wasn’t asked to speak there.”
Safe Climate Australia, a non-Government organisation, was setup to protect the Climate from people like Al Gore, who produces countless tonnes of environment harming CO2 gases every time he speaks to environmental groups about how harmful he is to the environment.
Safe Climate Australia, when asked about the reception to Gore’s speech this morning, said “..it was well worth flying him out here on a jumbo jet, from the other side of the globe, spewing tens of tonnes of jet exhaust into the fragile atmosphere, then picking him up a stretch limousine that gets less than 3 km per litre, and hosting a breakfast in his honour that cost so much we could have fed and clothed a starving third world village for the next 800 years. We all gave ourselves a well earned pat on the back, using these petrol-powered back patting devices that Al Gore manufactures in Taiwan for 3 cents a unit.”
Al Gore made no comment, because he was not asked.
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